Confidence

Ark / Confidence
new year new you

New Year, Same You.

I took a moment to do some self-evaluation because if I'm honest I wasn't satisfied with how 2018 ended. That last week of 2018 something bad happened daily. It was like a dark cloud was over my head and I couldn't get away from it. While I was excited about the new year I had a wake-up call that helped me have a better perspective about the new year. The new year is just a new date. Nothing about the new year can change you. You will make the needed changes when you find it necessary to do so. On Christmas, as my mom was in the emergency room at our local hospital I watched a lady come in with breathing problems and left on life support because she was brain dead. In a matter of moments, her life changed. I will never forget the look on her husbands face when the doctor told him that his wife suffered brain damage due to the amount of time she was not breathing. As I sat there I cried so many emotions came over me and I looked over at my mom and said you have to take better care of yourself because you can not leave me like that.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. A new year means absolutely nothing if you're still going to do the same things. Some of you been talking about what you want to do for so long while you've taken 0 actions. Nothing about your life will change that way. You claim you want to lose weight but you refuse to work out. You claim you want to start your business but you make excuse after excuse. You claim you want to write your book but talk about how you don't have time. When are you going to become this new you? When are you going to have some real discipline and go hard for your goals? I'm sure that woman didn't think on Christmas day she would end up that way but she did and we have to remember time waits for no one! You don't have time to continue to just talk about your goals it's time to accomplish them! I created my 90-day coaching program Crowns Up for women who you are ready to do what they've been wanting to do.

Queens, it's time out for all these small talks. What action steps are you willing to take to take to accomplish your goals? What are you willing to sacrifice to see your dreams come true? What are you willing to invest in your future? Free isn't going to get it this time. You have to get serious about your life and the things you desire otherwise it's just going to be a new year with the same old you. Once you know better you've got to do better so let's be committed to doing better this year. I'm not going to hype you up about 2019 and how great it's going to be. 2019 will only be as great as you are.

Confidence - 01/21/2019
depressed

Stop Going Back!

Wedding season is ending and we are entering engagement season. I think I saw at least four engagements on my timeline this weekend and I am so excited and happy for them! I realized that it's also the season for those"Hey big head" "I miss you" text and if you're not careful you'll fall for it! We've made it to the last month of 2018 and this is a time of reflection for many it's also a time of feeling alone and depressed. Pressure to get to that next level and have all the things you desire can bring on anxiety if you let it. One of the things I've realized even in my own life is sometimes we are the source of our own cycles because we keep going back. Some people should not have any access to you because if they do you know if they catch you on a bad day you'll fall for it and end up heartbroken all over again. I'm speaking from experience because I've done it. Maybe you're thinking about reaching out to him or maybe he reached out to you I want to give you some advice stop going back!

I remember how I kept breaking my own heart because I thought things would change. I thought he loved me and he would realize just how valuable I am but the problem was I didn't see my own value. A Queen respects her crown and walks away from those who don't. I allowed myself to be wrapped up in him that I lost my value of self. Love doesn't hurt. You can glory in struggle love if you want to but that isn't the love God has for you! Perfect love cast out all fear so why are you so afraid to let what's not good for you go? Queen, it's time for you to break the cycle and set yourself free! The only way you can do that is if you make the choice that enough is enough! How much more of your time does he need to waste before you realize he just doesn't care? You have to know your worth and add Federal and State taxes! You are the prize Queen! You have to stop searching for someone to fill a void in your life and learn to really love yourself.

The woman then you're becoming requires your complete focus and respect. If you don't respect and honor your own crown why should anyone else? It's unfair to place an expectation on someone else that you are not following yourself! How can you expect a man to love a version of you that you don't even know? You've been giving pieces of yourself and wondering why you feel so broken. Queen, it's time for you to take back your power and reign! I want you to look yourself in the mirror with no makeup and really love what you see. I want you to know that going back is not honoring the royalty within you! Stop going back! Going back is distracting you from the purpose and plan that God has for you! If you've been struggling make the choice to stop going back!

Confidence / Relationships - 12/05/2018
Portrait of a smiling business woman with an afro in bright glass office

This Is Going To Take Faith!

The end of the year is a time where many are reflecting over how the year went. If we are honest many of us had an okay year but something about it being okay just doesn't sit right with you. I know for me this year was great for my business but not the greatest in my personal life. I'm realizing we make so many plans without action and that leaves us feeling stuck. There are so many messages about how you can still accomplish your goals and though it is very true you will not be able to accomplish anything without faith! The vision that God's given you is going to take faith! If you're like me, you like to have things planned out and know every single step, without it you feel completely lost. I'm here to tell you that you won't always have the answers but you have to keep going anyways.

The vision that God gave you is bigger than you. It will pull you out of your comfort zone and cause you to take a really deep look within yourself! I was in a consistent war with myself because I wanted all the answers! I wanted to be 100% sure on everything! Instead of just trusting God I was rushing God! I wanted everything my way! God had to show me that this vision isn't about me. There are people who need what you've got and only you can give it to them. As you are on this journey of purpose I want to share with you three tips that's helped me to keep the faith!

1. Seek God Always!

One of the biggest frustrations I had was saying yes to everything. I wanted to get my brand and name out to the world so I said yes to free speaking engagements, I said yes to coaching people for free, I said yes to signing up for classes and all this stuff! I was doing the most! I wanted to learn all I could yet I realized I was asking everybody else what I should do but God! We are fooling ourselves if we are not seeking God about our purpose! God is the one who gave it to us so sure he knows what's best! You don't want to delay your promise being caught up in things that are not apart of your purpose so be sure to seek God always!

2. Be Prepared For War!

Now that you've said yes to what God has called you to do it's time to get prepared for war! The enemy is going to throw a bunch of life situations, distractions and suggestions your way to keep you from moving forward but don't you do allow what you see to make you forget what God said! I'm not going to lie to you this is not easy! You will have to break mindsets and patterns that you've had all your life to develop a new way of thinking. This is why it's critical to have a prayer and study life! You can't fight against the enemy with no word in your heart! You will lose and be defeated when you do not cover your day in prayer, praise, and the meditation of God's word. You can read self-help books and listen to all the podcast but that cannot replace you renewing your mind by meditating on the Lord. Be prepared for war because the enemy is upset that you are walking into what God has for you. His job is to steal, kill and destroy but don't let him! Stay ready and focused!

3. Remember Your Why!

When you know why it will prevent you from giving up. When God shows you the vision it's already done you just have to take the bold steps to walk into it! When you know why you're doing something it changes everything! So many people are doing things simply because they see others do it but when you know that what you're doing is the very thing God placed you here to do, you will keep the faith no matter what it looks like! I've had to hold on to the vision even when everything around me looked opposite of what God said. I am glad that I didn't give up because I am a living witness that God can use anybody because he continues to use me! Remember your why and trust that God can do anything through you!

When you are focused on purpose and your vision is clear absolutely nothing can stop you! Remember to seek God always, be prepared for war and remember your why. These three steps have helped me get through some tough times when I felt like I wanted to give up and walk away. God's purpose will prevail and when you make the choice to carry out the vision remember to always keep the faith!

Confidence - 11/25/2018
Sad woman holding her forehead with her hand on white background

Healing Is Your Responsibility!

"You may not be responsible for what happened to you but your healing is your responsibility"

Will Smith

This quote may not feel good but it the absolute truth. So many times we are living from a place of pain and not a place of purpose. Pain is what we are comfortable with because it allows us to stay in our comfort zone of what we are used to. When you walk in purpose it will be uncomfortable. Your true purpose will push you to unfamiliar places that will cause you to be stretched like never before. Whatever happened to you doesn't have to be who you become. You are not the situation that you've gone through! Though the situation was hard you survived it! You're not a victim you're victorious! Some people were not fortunate to make it through a lot of the things you've gone through. You are still here because even with the things of your past God still wants to use you. Only God can turn a mess into a message and as he does that he will restore, renew and redeem you. I am a living witness to that because he's been doing it in my own life. As a breakthrough coach, it's my desire to see women break free from the bondage of their past. For years I allowed my past to prevent me from being all that God has called me to be. I want to share three ways you can start your journey of healing.

1) Stop being ashamed.

I don't know what you've had to endure but I know that it can sometimes make you feel ashamed because it happened to you. For a long time, I kept what I endured a big secret. I blocked out the entire situation and swept it under a rug. I was smiling and pretending I was okay but I was not. I felt at fault, I felt stupid and I kept asking myself what could I have done differently. I decided to unravel all the pinned up feelings I had and release it. What happened to you is not your fault so don't allow the situation to hold you, hostage, any longer.

2) Seek help.

Yes, you can pray and you should be praying but it's also absolutely nothing wrong with seeking wise counsel, in fact, the Bible says to do just that. If you need to go to therapy or counseling make an appointment and go. Keeping your feeling inside will not only stop you from moving forward but create a root of bitterness to spring up and that will lead to anger towards the wrong people. Anything swept under the rug will eventually come to the surface and it will not pretty. Healing is a beautiful journey and it's okay that you're still struggling with things because we all are. Seek the needed help so you can live life free.

3) Block out the noise.

"Voices bring choices" Bishop Rodney R. Roberts. When you have multiple people telling you how you should handle something and what you should be doing confusion will set in. You will be so confused and overwhelmed when trying to make the best choice for you. As you are seeking help don't allow yourself to be caught up in what other people think for you. The wise counsel will guide you from the word of the Lord others will guide you from their emotions. Emotions are temporary and fleshly. The bible says the heart is desperately wicked. Don't follow something that could lead you down a wrong path. Block out the noise. Block out the negative thoughts that are going to try to tell you that you aren't enough. Block out the people who think you should be who they want you to be. Block out the excuses you'll find to stop you from starting. You have to want your healing so bad that nothing get's in the way of it.

When I stopped being ashamed, I started to seek help and I blocked out the noise I was able to hear God clearly and work on myself. I was able to listen for his instruction and do what he said to do. It wasn't until I got out of my own way that God showed me who I am in him. I was so busy trying to figure things out on my own I was keeping myself stuck. Allow yourself grace on this journey of healing. Take things one day at a time but always move forward because your healing is your responsibility.

Confidence - 11/14/2018
WomenLookingUP

Faith Or Fear?

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

Hebrews 11:6

In order to live the life, you desire to live you must walk by faith and not by sight. You have to be able to see what you don't see with your natural eyes. I have had plenty of times in my life where I did not know how things were going to turn around but I had to keep the faith and trust that God was making a way for me. So many of you are frustrated in the process and all types of distractions are coming your way to cause you to give up. Many of you have decided to quit and you're still not living a life of joy. You may wear a smile but you're not happy. You know what you want out of life but something keeps you stuck. Some of you have started to get things on the right track but because it got hard you quit. The root of this destructive pattern is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being rejected, fear of offending others, fear of being misunderstood, it all comes from fear. Instead of allowing fear to continue to win try having faith. The simple definition of faith that I learned is faith is acting on what you say believe. So many times we say we have faith but our actions do not follow. I want to share three ways you can choose faith over fear.

1. Say something different.

Words are life and if you're speaking negative things you'll see negativity in your life because of what you've confessed. Instead of speaking negative things speak life. Your life is a sum total of the words you've spoken. It's very important to be mindful of the words you're speaking about your life and the lives of those you say you love. Say something different so you'll see something different.

2. Change your environment.

Do you know you are like the five people you hang around? If you're hanging around people who are just as fearful as you how are you going to learn from them? You have to be around people who talk and walk in faith and not fear. People will keep you stuck like they are so you won't grow and surpass them. It's so important to check your crew and make sure you're around people who are striving to become their best self so you can too. When you change your environment and detach from people, places and things that aren't helping you grow you will be able to break free from living life in fear.

3. Believe in yourself.

Nothing I said will help you if you do not believe in yourself. If I didn't believe in myself I would not be an author, motivational speaker and breakthrough coach today. I had to release fear so I can walk boldly in faith. This is a journey! You will have emotional moments where things seem overwhelming but once you overcome those obstacles you'll become fearless! I have had to overcome so many mindset obstacles on this journey. If I allowed fear to rule me I wouldn't accomplish anything. You have amazing dreams and gifts that you refuse to step out on faith and d all because of fear. How many more years are you going to allow fear to win? It's an insult to God when you don't believe in yourself. You have to believe that he put everything in you already to become all that he's called you to be!

Don't continue to allow fear to stop you from living the life God designed for you! Fear is not going to produce anything in your life. When you say something different you can see something different. When you change your enviroment you open yourself to recieve from others who are on the same path and when you believe in yourself nothing is impossible! Chose faith over fear!

Confidence - 10/08/2018

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