One of the most terrifying things I’ve done was, to be honest with God. When I think about that it sounds really stupid because it’s not like God doesn’t know but there’s something about being vulnerable that’s terrifying to me. As I’ve been on my healing journey I realized it’s because in my past it seemed like the moment I let my guards down I was hurt. I’ve had betrayal after betrayal, heartbreak after heartbreak, so I felt like something was wrong with me. I felt like my way of being was wrong it had to be because I kept attracting the wrong relationships and being friends with people who didn’t even like me!
I reached a breaking point! I was done with everyone and everything I was tired of the bull shit those were my exact words. I felt so heavy and gained weight too. I was annoyed, irritated, and angry all the time, going from zero to a thousand and ready to pop off at anyone. That was who I used to be. I wasn’t happy and I was not free. I was bound to my traumas, stuck in my fears while replaying all the lies the enemy filled my head up with. I told God I was done. As I was telling him how I was done, he showed me that he was not finished with me yet. I am so thankful that even in my mess God still protects, provides, and loves me. God’s love is everything I need and more!
I took some time to allow God to polish my crown! Over the last few years, I’ve been on this beautiful, ugly, painful yet joyful journey of discovering who God created me to be. This journey hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it! The peace I have now is worth everything I’ve lost! I am stepping into one of the best chapters of my life and I am so excited about it!
Renewing your mind is something you have to do daily! I’ve learned to mute the noise of others and seek to learn how to hear the voice of God! You’ve got to know him for yourself because people will project their fears, limiting mindsets, and unsolicited opinions about what you should do with your life. I am here to encourage you to allow God to polish your crown! Allow God to restore, renew and transform you! At my worst, I was at my best because God showed me the good, bad, and ugly! God corrected my thinking and pulled me away from people who were no good to me. I am forever thankful for that!
I chose to be still, get quiet, pray more, read more, get into new environments, watch those who inspire me, trust the Holy Spirit within me, and go after everything God placed on my heart. This season of my life isn’t easy and I am sure I’ll be going through more layers as I continue to heal. I want to challenge you to start your journey and do what’s best for you! Take a step back before taking this step forward and let God guide you. Try again with God and you will not fail! I am rooting for you, Queen!