I realized I’ve abused myself in ways I’m ashamed of. I thought self-love was just doing things to make me feel good until I realized self-care was also me confronting the inner me who is my real enemy. I had to go through a journey of accepting what I wanted to hide from, those ugly parts of me that I never wanted anyone to see. I had to realize to heal I had to look deep within myself and admit what wasn’t right with me. It’s so easy to look at what everyone else is doing but it’s so hard to confront yourself. I was tired of wearing a counterfeit crown. I was tired of smiling when I wanted to cry. I was tired of pushing through pain pretending I was okay. I chose to unsubscribe believing that I had to be that “strong woman” that people admired. I had to be honest and realize that I was so broken inside.

Strength isn’t being tough, or a savage strength is being able to admit you’re not okay. Strength is reaching out for help when you know you can’t do this on your own. Strength is admitting when something is off and not living in denial from day today. I got tired of being “strong” I just wanted someone to hug me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. As women especially black women we wear “I’m strong” as a badge of honor and I’m trying to figure out why? Why is it okay for us to carry so much on our shoulders? Why is it okay for us to have to just deal with it? Why are we expected to always have it together no matter what challenges we’ve faced? I am not a “strong woman” and I will no longer pretend to be. I have moments where I don’t know what’s going on and I pray and cry. I have moments where I want to be alone in silence just me and God. I have moments where I must encourage myself and allow God to polish my crown. When you walk in purpose it isn’t always pretty but it’s all God’s plan. When you have a calling on your life you just can’t fake it until you make it. You can’t just do anything or be around everyone. You must remember that you’ve been set apart, chosen, and created for such a time as this. I won’t lie to you it’s not going to be easy but it’s going to be worth it.

We’ve made healing a cute thing, but the truth is it’s not. There’s nothing cute about having to deal with the real you! Healing is a journey and it’s going to take more than some affirmations, cute journals, and some candles. You must decide on the type of woman you want to be and then unapologetically become her. Make no excuses, set boundaries, and live the type of life that God showed you because when it’s all said and done you are the one that has to deal with you. Create the life you desire, become the woman God called you to be and thrive! “What happened to you wasn’t your fault, but healing is your responsibility” Will Smith. Queen’s it’s time to stop playing victims and become victorious! No challenge can come your way that God can’t bring you out of. God said the weapons would form but they won’t prosper. Last month I started a new chapter of life on my 34th birthday. I decided that I was going to do everything that I know God has shown me I can do. I had to make some tough choices, let some people go and now I’m on the journey of creating the environment necessary for my continued growth. Will it be easy? No, but I know it will be worth it every step of the way! I want to encourage you to go for it whatever your “it” maybe. No more talking about it, dreaming about it, or posting about it. It’s time for you to make moves so you can be in a position for the blessings that are on the way. I truly believe that as we shift from fear to faith that God is going to do some amazing things. Don’t fear your healing journey or be ashamed of it. God can and will heal you in every place that you hurt! I know he can because he continues to do it for me daily. Keep your head up and your crown up because better days are coming!