After months of transition, I’ve concluded that I no longer want to be “the strong friend” The strong friend is the friend that continues to uplift, encourages, always prays and listens to her friends even when she is going through pure hell herself. I’ve learned that the strong friend supports everyone but unfortunately, she doesn’t get that same love and support herself. A strong friend could be on the edge of losing her mind and absolutely no one will stop and take a moment to ask is she okay? The strong friend is the one who is exhausted with telling her friends what’s wrong and gets nothing but “be strong” “You got this” “You can handle it” honestly sometimes we can’t! I’ve had some life changing things going on the last couple of months and if I were to get paid for how many times, I’ve heard those three statements I think I’d be rich! I realize that most people just don’t know what to say so they say anything, but I’ve learned silence and golden and venting doesn’t mean you're weak it means you need to release. The strong friend doesn’t get to vent because people always tend to say one of those three statements I’ve mentioned above and that pretty much means shut up, it’s my turn and please help me with my issues. Meanwhile, the strong friend just must continue to be “strong”
Over the last few months I’ve felt every single emotion there is to feel and though I put one foot in front of the other I had days that I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I was numb. I spent most of my time trying to figure things out and that lead to frustration, overwhelm and anxiety. I learned to let go and really let God. I’ve learned that though I’m strong I have my moments of uncertainty, moments where my faith is weary and moments where I just want to throw in the towel. I’ve learned some valuable lessons that I believe will help me continue this journey of unlearning what I thought I already knew. In order to stop being the “strong friend,” you must first realize that you can’t help everyone, and everyone isn’t your assignment. Sometimes the best help you can be to people is to be absolutely nothing at all. In the moments where I felt I needed help, I depended on God to make a way and he did every single time. You can not pour from an empty cup and you shouldn’t try when it’s half full either. I’m dedicated to living a life of overflow so that giving no longer leaves me dry. Sometimes we run ourselves dry trying to be everyone, be everywhere and do everything. In this time of me being still, I really got a chance to realize how much I give of myself to others yet don’t always get that in return. It’s in my nature to give but sometimes I give too much.
Being a strong friend doesn’t mean I don’t go through things or need support from time to time. Being a strong friend doesn’t mean I don’t have moments where I cry. Being a strong friend doesn’t mean I always have it together because truth be told most of us don’t. Your strong friends go through pure hell alone and though the quote “Check on your strong friends” is trendy how many people do it? A text, a phone call, a visit, a lunch date it’s really the simple things that can make someone’s day brighter. I’ve disassociated myself from being prideful about being strong because the test that I’ve had to face and overcome these last couple of months attempted to kill me but one thing I know for sure is when I am weak God is strong! So, to all my “strong friends” I want to let you know it’s okay to resign. Take off your strong mask and stop trying to save the world. You must save yourself first and it is not selfish for you to do so. Take all the time you need to be still and allow God to polish your crown. What is for you will not pass you by.
Love,
Natalie