One thing about a real Queen is she's able to adjust her own crown by being real and honest with herself. Real maturity is when you check your own self. Self-inventory is mandatory for growth. If you're really trying to become better you've got to get serious about being honest about what's going on with you. So many times we wear a mask to cover up what's really inside. We try to hide the negative things because we're ashamed that people will judge us based off poor choices we've made. Releasing the Queen in you is a journey and it takes time to own up to your poor choices and bad thinking patterns. When you confront it then you can conquer it and be free to be the Queen God called you to be.
Since my 32nd birthday, I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and I realized I had a negative pattern that's been hindering my growth. I felt so many different emotions and became angry with myself for allowing certain things to happen. I had to acknowledge my feelings and face them head-on. I've always prided myself on taking care of myself mentally, physically and spiritually and I realized I haven't been doing the best at that lately. I was helping women become their best self while I wasn't fully doing it for myself. I am able to see the gold in other people but wasn't paying attention to gold in me. I allowed situations with people to cause me to shrink and in some cases put down my crown. Overwhelmed by life becoming stressed trying to make things right I became my own enemy. I took some time off to just breathe. Time to think about what was best for Natalie. Time to think about relationships that needed to end and how I kept holding on to dead things. I found myself frustrated, feeling like I wanted to give in to the thoughts of quitting. Give in to thoughts that what I've been through is going to get the best of me and that these cycles in my life where never going to end.
I was wrong!
I had to remember that I'm a daughter of the King! I am royalty! I decided to reclaim my crown and get in my rightful place! I was out of position because I allowed my circumstances to overpower me. I was so close to going back to the old me. The old me who was bitter and full of resentment. The old me who quit too fast and too soon. The old me who didn't know her value so she settled for relationships that didn't return the love she deserved. I was wrong! I was wrong for allowing people time in my life when their time was up. The expiration date was past yet I still wanted to hold on. I was wrong for allowing him to think he could just creep back in and not value the Queen that's within. I was wrong to preach and teach what I wasn't fully living up to being a hypocrite! Wearing the mask that I allowed pride to blind me I couldn't even see! I was wrong so wrong and since I've reclaimed my crown I promise I'm going to get things right.
Releasing the Queen within is about becoming the Queen God called you to be. I couldn't fully be me until I decided to set myself free. I let go of the stress and frustration. I let go of that man who just kept giving false hope and never meet my expectations. I couldn't let my crown shine because deep down inside I wasn't really living the royal life. I know I'm not alone and I want you to know it's okay not to be who and what everyone want's you to be. You're going to disappoint people and people are going to disappoint you. You're going to make poor choices just don't allow those choices to take over you. Learn, grow and continue to adjust your crown. Trade the mask for a crown and reign. You owe it to yourself to free yourself from the heartache and pain. If people aren't pulling you up they are holding you down. Don't be afraid to make adjustments in your life. I could have allowed life to knock me down again but I refuse to back down. I refuse to throw in the towel.
It's Queens all over the world waiting for me and guess what they are waiting on you too. Somone needs to hear your story on how you overcame the hurt, dealt with the pain and let go of shame. I'm a flower and I bloom wherever I am planted. I had to arise so I can be all of who God called me to be. This journey isn't easy but it's worth it and no matter how hard it get's I know that God is going to finish the work he started in me. It's one thing to talk about living a royal life but it's another to actually be bold enough to live it. I'm in chapter 32 I'm focused on me and what God placed me here to be. I want you all to take back your power and reign. I'm all in and I'm not playing any games. You can watch me rise or you can join me. I hope your ready because this fire just ignited a new me! So this is my public apology to me. I'm going to rise up and allow God to continue to pull out the best in me so he can continue to use me.
Love
Natalie